After recovering from many long boughts of illnesses, I started making improvements to the mental well-being of my life. I spent less time online, and more time focused on social issues, my artwork, and caring for my family.

Through all this I began to experience an intensification of chronic pain I’d been experiencing for years. It would begin by incredible headaches, and lead to crippling pain in my face, neck, and jaw. Often I would be left in a dazed state, and it would last for weeks at a time before vanishing. It seemed to come in cycles, so I began to think it was related to some serious nerve and neural conditions. By early 2009 they began to grow worse to the point I couldn’t function well anymore.

One night I woke up in extreme pain and realized my jaw was swollen shut. This discovery resulted in a trip to a doctor, the hospital, a dentist, and finally a surgeon. Through x-rays it was discovered not only were all four of my wisdom teeth severely impacted but I was dealing with an ongoing chronic infection. This would require immediate surgery that would involve removing a piece of my jaw.  After coming out of surgery I suffered from one of my ‘episodes’, which may be related to hypoglycemia. Recovery time for the proceedure took until mid-summer; afterwhich, I opted to have all of my cavities filled. Bear in mind I am terrified of dentists.

Since then, I still suffer from headaches but am no longer suddenly stricken with debilitating chronic pain on a regular basis.

I made a return trip (since ten years) to Virginia for a week-long vacation of fun. It was extremely hot, and I think I lost my sanity there. Maybe Disney World will be in the future..

Between pain pills and multiple antibiotics, I was sick for six months out of the entire year, including a run-in with H1N1. What a bitch that was.

 My boyfriend visited in the late summer months and then we headed back to England together to visit family and friends. There were so many lovely people there, amazing experiences, new experiences, and times I will never forget. I’ll write about much of that at a later date..

In September 2009, my boyfriend popped the question, and made a blubbering sobbing idiot out of me. Damn him. Love him. Now we plan for the future and are eager for all that await our lives together.

You may notice I have a new blog linked to this site. It’s my little place to rant and write something actually journalistic. It’s my little experiment shall we say. I hope it takes off.

Well, what’s to say?

I still post on my xanga blog (for some reason I couldn’t quite get away from posting there). As for present life; lets make a small update. Not too much has changed, I’m still the same person… just older, wiser, and sometime this year I made a decision to rid myself from alot of negative forces on my life. I resigned from my admin post. I suppose people look at this as a symptom of withdrawl from the things I used to do. I wasn’t running away or anything, I simply decided I was tired of fighting other’s battles for them, and not recieving the same respect. Emotionally, I’m kind of like a sponge. People tend to come to me for a shoulder to lean on, or some words of advice; after a long time this impacts me in a negative way. I started realizing that people need to figure things out on their own, just like I do.

I started gaming alot more, and I joined a really nice guild in Guild Wars, and made a ton of new friends, and got to be an officer. Strangely it put me right back in the position…I’d left behind. God has a sense of humour doesn’t He? Or is it “fate is without a sense of irony?” to quote a certain guy. If I had an xbox 360 and a good internet connection, you’d probably find me on there too. Otherwise I enjoy playing my psp, and guitar hero on PS2. Anyway, I still do artwork; and am considering trying to make some money from it. This is probably a lost cause, but I’ll think on it some more. My boyfriend visited me in November of last year and stayed until January of this year. We had a nice time, though it was a bit hectic at times — as we ended up playing house and nursing sick people (including myself again). Hey, and here I thought you only “played house” when you’re kids… *snickers*. My dog also fell off a couch in her sleep and injured her spine (people’s talk of possibilities regarding my beloved dog put me into hysterics). I stepped forward and provided a large sum of cash to pay for her medical care, and she is recovered nicely from it. We did at least find time to go on a romantic, if not pretty kooky, date.  It’s so strange when he has to go back home. It took me 11 months just to put away the extra bed, and put stuff away… I didn’t want to touch anything. Yes, I miss him that much.

Family life is still the same. Stress. More stress. More of me thinking please get me out of this mental ward. Because that’s what it’s really like sometimes. My sister got married in the summer, leading me to make a promise to myself that when I get married it will be nothing like that.

It is now the holidays again…..and my financial situation is as bleak as ever. At the present moment it is snowing, something that I absolutely love.  I am still that person with hopes and dreams..and I know it’ll all work out somehow. It’s just slow. Hey neat, there’s a word count on this thing… 575 so far.. well I am rather long-winded aren’t I? There’s promise I will see my darling again this spring, and if it goes to plan I’ll be getting the hell out of this place for a little vacation of my own (and maybe even see you Mr. G. so I won’t be that kooky girl you always hear about but never see.)

Well…what else? Hmm.. I am still an avid watcher of animes, foreign films, Heroes and Lost, and I love shoes.

V’s character himself draws on Shakespeare and Phantom of the Opera in the very capable hands of Hugo Weaving. Evy, I have problems with. She’s at times too shallow..her motivations aren’t entirely clear…and Portman does not have the best fake British accent in the world. It comes off slow and snippy. At some point she’s the poster girl for stupidity. We can all tell it’s Hugo Weaving standing there without a mask on in one scene; but why can’t she?

 In the end it boils down to a love story; and the movie is scattered away from it’s original message by that aspect. While Hugo Weaving does an excellent job, as the Phantom of the Opera character; torn between his calling to be a man of the underworld, and wanting to take off his mask and reveal his feeling to her; Portman is so emotionally empty it leaves this aspect with nothing to work with but cheese. V shows his pain that he can’t show Evy… because he feels not only that she would be repulsed by his disfigurement, but that she is only in love with his mystery. What on earth does he see in this woman?

I liked the fact that the Wachowski’s added many philosophical aspects to the film, and placed many homages to the Matrix. Despite it’s flaws, it’s a good film.

***1/2 stars.

I have few friends, most of them live very far away from me; and most of them I’ve met from an internet community I joined about five years ago, which I now administrate. These are such very dear people to me, and a few I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. I have been so blessed to also be in love with an amazing man who I adore. Our only problem is that we live across an ocean from eachother. But of course, you must be wondering how such a long distance relationship could work? It’s because we’ve made it work for us. Lots of visits across that ocean to see me and my family, over the course of two years now? Heh, I’ve lost count. This is very expensive to do, but well worth the wait and effort. My hope is to also make such a trip and do the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing; before we start the really serious business of figuring out which country we’ll be staying in on a permanent basis. And we will do it ya know? Just takes time.

I live with my family for now, in a fairly nice house near the river way out in the middle of nowhere. It took pretty much life savings, and begging and borrowing to get here; but it had to be done. It’s a big change for a city gal. Yeah, I was born in the inner city, and lived there for most of my life. I like the pace of it, the buildings and the lights.. the energy. Here, everything is different though..a different energy. Nature is abundant, and speaks with an elegance and beauty; perfect for some R&R, but lacks in the closeness in the humanity department.

As I said before, I’ve had a few other blogs; xanga and myspace. Xanga has been a home for several years now, but myspace is something of a disappointment. Too camera attention whore and creepy. Nothing seriously minded… nothing I could write at length on and expect any other response but “hey ur sooo hawt leik do me!” Not my style. I rather like wordpress, it saves as you’re typing, the skins are wonderful, and the bloggers are intelligent.